Always waiting...

Here I am, in the middle of week 3 of my maternity leave and still no baby. Of course, she's not due for another 2 weeks or so, but the waiting is so awful.

Every little movement, pain, twinge, and twang makes me wonder is this it?

My list of maladies is long -- super swollen feet and ankles, severe ligament pain in my hips, trouble sleeping, pain and numbness in the hands and wrists, etc. I'm eager to end them all and meet my daughter.

At the same time, I'm terrified. I'm standing at a precipice and cannot see anything in front of me. The great unknown stretches out in front of me. I'm not quite so worried about being a parent or the responsibilities I face. I can attribute that to the wonderful maternity leave policies here in Norway. Shamefully, my biggest fear is the pain. Even knowing that I am taking the epidural does not calm the terror.

All I can do is wait...